Cruel and Unusual Punishment

I'm changing doctors.

I had my first medical appointment yesterday for my extensive Peace Corps Medical Evaluation. When my doctor heard that I was joining the Peace Corps she started by telling me about some married friends of hers who decided to go to Cambodia and the husband came back with a liver disease that was slowly killing him. After she told me horror story number one, she decided to continue with this fright fest and mention all of the additional immunizations I was going to need before I left and how much they were going to hurt. Um, excuse me? Aren't you supposed to be my doctor? Last I checked this wasn't exactly the favored method of speaking to your patients.

Then I handed her the stack of medical forms that I need to get filled out in the next couple of weeks. As she began browsing the immunizations and blood work that I needed done she kept smiling and laughing and looked me in the eyes and said "you going to cry", and as she scheduled each injection and blood draw she noted to herself and her now very uncomfortable patient "ouch! this going to hurt" and "ooo! so many needles..." When I told her that I'm not a crier and I that I was prepared for the process, she said, "OK, well when you come back next appointment, you tell me if you cried. I bet you do."

As if all of this wasn't bad enough, she kept checking back with me to make sure I still wanted to join the Peace Corps. She even asked me if I could really ride a bike, because in Asia you'll die if you can't ride a bike well. So, Dr. Leung is out, BUT the process yesterday didn't end there. After her examination I was shuttled to the Injection Clinic where more joyous events awaited me.

In the Injection Clinic I was told I would be getting three injections, and was handed a form for Polio, Tetanus and TB. Let me say now that I don't like needles. At my old doctor's office, the Injection Nurse would always laugh at me because I can't watch them stick the needles into me, so I would stare determinedly at the wall over the opposite shoulder, and then he would give me a Snoopy bandaid when it was all over. I can handle needles, as long as I don't look at the needle or what is going into or coming out of my body. So the two Injection Nurses yesterday (after giving me these pamphlets) walked out of the little shower curtain enclosed room and started preparing my entourage of drugs. I guess they thought this little shower curtain was a sound proof barrier because the older of the two nurses began asking the other if she could do all three shots, or if she would like to watch the other woman do them this time. Pretty much, the woman who was about to shove three needles into my body was a newbie. Great! And now I'm worried...

After Polio in my left shoulder and Tetanus in my right and the TB test in my right forearm, I still wasn't done for the day. The new nurse did alright, not too much pain at the time of the injection (although I suffered all night last night from aching shoulders). So from the Injection Clinic I walked over to the Lab for blood work and urinanalysis. I peed in a cup (which I had been holding since I got to the doctor's - knowing that this was an inevitable part of the day's proceedings) dropped it off in a box and was asked by the lady standing next to the box "do you need blood work".

At this point, let's be honest... I'm tempted to say no and run the hell out of there. But I've got the form in my hand and it would have just been avoiding the inevitable. So I let her sit me down in a chair, lay my left arm on a cushion, and watch as she pulls out vial after vial after vial. Five empty vials sat there in front of me on this little counter. Instinct set in, and before she even had the stretchy rubber thing tied around my bicep I was staring intently at the wall over my right shoulder.

I guess maybe this looked a little bizarre, because the nurse immediately asked me if I was OK. I reassured her that I was fine, I just can't watch. This exchange took place about four more times during the process, but she managed to steal five vials of blood from my left arm before I left the doctor's.

So, in less than two hours I had three injections, five vials of blood drawn, a cup full of pee and three Advil, not to mention the strong desire for a new doctor. And this was only Day One of the process... I go back in 2 days, and again next week.