Dear Conditioner

Why on earth can you not manage to last half as long as your dear friend Shampoo? I mean, just look at Salt & Pepper, they've got it totally figured out. One salt shaker lasts equally as long as a pepper shaker (unless you are my dad, who feels the necessity to drown every item of food in gallons of pepper - but that's a rare case, not to mention disgusting). But you and Shampoo have some serious work to do. I shouldn't have to buy two bottles of you for every bottle of Shampoo that I buy.

I don't mind if you are bigger than Shampoo so that you last as long... but maybe you have a complex about being so much larger than Shampoo? Get over yourself, Conditioner, everyone loves you more anyways. It is you, Conditioner, that makes my hair silky smooth and shiny. Shampoo has got nothing on you - EXCEPT that Shampoo has the longevity factor that you can't seem to get a grasp on. You must understand that you are thicker and you don't make suds like Shampoo, therefore a dollop of you doesn't go nearly as far as Shampoo.

Who can buy Conditioner without feeling it necessary to buy your counterpart Shampoo? Not I. My shower is filled with half-empty bottles of Shampoo and one sole, rapidly depleting, bottle of Conditioner. You are a duo that should not be separated, but I am starting to think that I am simply going to have to start buying extra of you to make up for this problem. And this is not a solution that I appreciate.

So, Conditioner, I beg of you -- get your act together and banish this problem I have.

Love (for now),
Jamie