During Easter brunch at my brother and sister-in-law's place on Sunday, a certain conversation arose. To thoroughly understand the conversation, I think it is important to understand where I am coming from...
When I moved home from college last December, Ryan had also recently moved into my parent's house. So, at the age of 22, I found myself living under my parents' roof with my brother - an odd occurrence considering this hadn't been the case since Ryan had graduated from high school (over twelve years ago). While I found myself really enjoying the situation, and getting to spend some more time with this brother of mine, there was one little occurrence that was less than enjoyable...
After roughly eight years of either having my own bathroom, or sharing it with other girls, I had forgotten what it meant to share a bathroom with a "boy". Ryan, unlike most guys, is really very tidy. My constant cause for complaint lay in the fact that during those same eight years where I shared my bathrooms with no guys, Ryan had spent twelve years sharing them with no girls. As a result, he had forgotten some of his manners (taught very well by our mother) and I now found myself face to face with the consequences. Join me, as I relive the following unfortunate scenario: I would wake up in the middle of the night and stumble into the bathroom, drunken with fatigue, I would make my way by touch only to the toilet(refusing to blind myself with the bathroom lights), only to find myself falling into the pit of doom because Ryan had decided it was no longer important to put the toilet seat down. A scarring event really, that happened on more than one occasion.
So, for the next few months I proceeded to chastise Ryan anytime I found the toilet seat up. During one such occasion, Lailah (his fiance at the time) happened to be hanging out at my parents' house. When she heard me complaining to Ryan, she stepped in and said, "Huh, I really don't care about the toilet seat thing. It doesn't bother me if he doesn't put it down." I almost threw her to the dogs in that moment. Ryan's face beamed, probably one of the proudest moments of his life, and really my fight was over in that moment. He knew, as well as I did, that if his soon-to-be wife didn't care about the toilet seat thing, then there was no need for him to change his habits now.
So, during this Easter brunch, the toilet seat issue arose again. Lailah claimed to stand by the same beliefs she had less than a year ago, but I couldn't help but have images of myself falling into the toilet in the middle of the night flashing through my mind. I'm not quite sure I've forgiven my wonderful sister-in-law for this episode that occurred months ago.
What this whole toilet seat issue made me realize, is that my list of pet peeves is probably much longer than the average American. Here are the common occurrances that really get under my skin:
- Chewing with your mouth open
- Dragging your feet while you walk
- Incorrect usage of words such as you're and your
- Misspellings in general
- Chomping gum in public
- People who stand too close
- Talking loudly on your cell phone in public
- Calling and not leaving a voicemail
- Unplugging things without first turning them off
- Leaving toothpaste/shampoo tops crusty
- Not turning off your blinker, when it is clear you aren't planning on turning
- The sound of clipping toenails and fingernails
- Talking during movies
- People who are always late
- When you ask for Diet Coke and they assume that Diet Pepsi is OK. It's not really.
- And, of course, leaving the toilet seat up
Now, I'm not trying to suggest that I, myself, am perfect. I have no problem admitting that I, too, have my own fatal flaws:
- I'm impressively indecisive
- I'm MAYBE "too" competitive (as previously discussed)
- I'm deathly ophidiophobic
But, do me a favor and the next time you find yourself sharing a bathroom with a girl, keep in mind that we are accustomed to finding the toilet seat down. Sure, we could get into a lengthy discussion as to whether or not this is a reasonable expectation, but the fact of the matter is, that it IS an expectation. And falling into the toilet bowl is not an enjoyable experience, however funny it may appear... so please? I really don't think it's too much to ask.
Ryan is clearly a lost cause, but for the rest of you out there... Thank you!
2 comments:
life sure is great not having to think about the toilet seat any more. the part of my wife's argument you failed to mention (because it is too logical maybe?) is that putting the seat up is really just as much of an effort as putting it down, and you girls should certainly be expected to do you're fair share of seat swinging
remember that post about being gentlemanly? case and point! :) PS - the improper usage of "you're" did not go unnoticed.
Post a Comment