Natural Born Tendencies

What's with this whole potty training thing? I haven't been able to escape the phenomenon lately. And, to be completely honest, I don't think it is something that Americans should talk about, not to mention draw attention to. I mean, who decided, "Hey! Let's remind people that they aren't born with the ability to not crap their pants?"

Think about it... someone actually has to train you how to recognize that you are going to poop and beyond that, to actually make your way to a potty to dispose of your own waste. If no one taught us, we'd just sit there, perfectly content filling our pants with our own poop. I think it is absolutely foul.

On television a couple of days ago there was a family who was working on potty training their sextuplets. First of all, women - take pride in the fact that we are way more on top of this whole poop in the potty thing. Boys are apparently much more resistant to the whole toilet issue. But, as a whole, we are all much less capable of being trained to poop in a toilet than to pee in it. I have this awful image of a three year old girl being held at arms length in the air, being rushed to the bathtub with her panties overflowing with poop.

I just have a really hard time imagining being that age and not being able to prevent something so horrid from happening. Or, worse, not thinking that it's horrid. It just brings me back to the realization that babies are gross. They emit foulness from every orifice. If you don't believe me, watch the following video:



Now don't get me wrong... I love kids, but gross.

Again, I was confronted with the potty training issue when I came across a news article featuring a woman who claims she can potty train any child in one day. One of her tricks - if the kid makes a mess, they are forced to clean it up themselves. Can you imagine? Oh Sally just pooped her pants again... Sally, you know what to do... Go get in that bathtub and clean yourself up. And clean up those dirty panties before you put them in the washing machine, you hear? I mean, it sounds absurd, but isn't there a little part of you that would absolutely love to hand the task off to the child? AND if they are forced to handle their own soiled clothing you think they are going to be a little more desperate to figure out the whole potty thing right? I'll consider it my "last resort" method...

I also want to add that I'm awesome. I talked to my mom about all of this and she said I was the easiest kid to potty train ever. Take that Ryan! I guess it kind of makes sense... I mean I'm so disgusted by the idea now that I was clearly also disgusted by it then. I was so ahead of my time. :)